Ron Bernal

Now here's the story of a guy who just does not let go. I've spent years trying to shed my N.J. past (don't ask why) and to move on to better things. Other than my family, who all still live there, I was MOSTLY successful. MOSTLY that is because Ron Bernal (that's him pictured to the left) just wouldn't let go.

To this day, I never know if that blinking light on my answering machine is going to be a message that starts off, "Hey Smegma, do you miss me?". Or, "How's your wife? What's she wearing?". Most years on St. Patty's day, I don't dare answer the phone for fear of the drunk dial from some borrowed cell phone calling from a random bar (or the streets) in NYC after the parade ends.

Every few months we might actually get to talk to each other. Usually, I get verbally abused and then get an update on everyone I knew in high school. See Ron doesn't only stay in touch with me, he stays in touch with everyone (whether they like it or not).

So, after all these years (more than 30), no matter how hard I try, I am forever tied to my past by a crazy Cuban who just can't let go. I'm so very grateful...